The Professional Gambler Theory

I have a hard job understanding why the occasional player doesn’t see the power of going to a casino and walking away with just a consistent, although small, profit.

I’m not trying to make you a professional gambler; I’m simply trying to get you to think like one.

I would love to go up to a table, collect a hefty $3,000 payoff every session, get back in my limo, tell my driver (Pamela Sue Anderson) to take me back to my 6,000 acre ranch and then drag her off to my 200-yard sunken pool. Yeah, I got pipe dreams too.

So I’ll park my carcass on a straight back chair in a smoky, windowless room with seven other poker players and try to draw enough good cards to make it a profitable night.

You ever see any of these games? Smoke hovers the table, where fabulous students of Hoyle’s favorite game peer out through steely, expressionless eyes. These guys don’t make mistakes, and they don’t have tells.

Patience is a virtue, stupidity is a one-way street to disaster, talk is minimal, and mercy is absent. Make a mistake and seven vultures circle the wagons, waiting to divide the spoils.

When the night is done and you are fortunate enough to escape with a small profit, the ride home gives you only a short time to count your blessings and your money.

As you pull into your driveway, the sun is just coming up and the real people are heading off to their jobs, probably talking about their impending weekend trip to the casinos for a little gambling.

You’re looking forward to a hot cup of coffee, a cold shower, and a warm bed to get some sleep before the night beckons you to another round with the seven thieves of destiny. Destined to someday put a dent in your poker bankroll!

Yeah, it’s a great life, but if the pro didn’t have money management and discipline, he’d be getting up at the crack of dawn, heading off to a nice cushy job in an air-conditioned luxury office for $4,000 a week and a beautiful secretary serving him coffee in a cup!

Gee, maybe you better forget all about money management and discipline and keep your day job, to support your gambling mistakes. Sounds like a great life.

Me? I wouldn’t trade mine for anything!